Trans.....what?!?

What? Who dat? How did he...? Where'd that come from...? What's in there...? What does nacho cheese have to do with anything? ...Huh?!?


Those were just a few of the questions my wife and I asked ourselves as we watched that little Spielberg robot movie yesterday that all the kids are buzzing about these days. You know the one - "Transformers". Now as a fanboy of the original 80s animated series, I was more than interested in seeing this up-to-date take on the whole concept. Overall the effects were great and I enjoyed the ride. "I was entertained and my beliefs were suspended for two (plus) hours". But like a roller coaster ride that's gone on way past the level of 'enjoyable', I left the theater with semi-permanent hearing loss, a throbbing headache behind my eyeballs, and a sore neck. The movie was LOUD (eh, what'd you say?). Plus I was really confused about some of the logistical points of the movie, too numerous to elaborate on here. But maybe I ask too many questions during movies. Shia Lebeouf holds the film together as the main character, Sam Witwicky. I think it's obvious that he's turning out to be one of the newest generation of really great actors, unless he tosses caution to the wind and pulls a 'Lindsay Lohan', who I can say with confidence everyone is more than sick of hearing about. He's definitely come a long way since the days of that mongoloid family sitcom, "Even Stevens", from Nickelodeon, and I'm excited to see him in the latest installment of the Indiana Jones series. The depth of some of the other characters is questionable. For example, Megan Fox, the actress that plays Mikaela Banes...come on! What kind of high school girl looks like that? And I think John Turturro was completely miscast as Sector Seven Agent Simmons. He's generally entertaining, but tends to ride a fine line between annoying and likeable. His best role in my eyes will always be as 'The Jesus' in "The Big Lebowski".

Of course, as a summer blockbuster, product placement was blatant in this film - Mountain Dew anybody? But, I guess, what do you expect from a movie brought to you by Hasbro, makers of the original line of Transformers toys. You know that the G.I. Joe movies can't be far behind - "G.I. Joe and the Mummy's Treasure", "G.I. Joe and the Big Helicopter Rescue", "G.I. Joe on Barbie Island" (or "G.I. Joe on Johnny Quest Island", depending on your lifestyle preference). Come on, don't act shocked! Like you didn't know that about Johnny Quest...!